Who you are... what's underneath.

I was a 90s baby I was born in that time. my formative years were spent growing up in that time. I'm a product of the time I was born in, the time I grew up in. The 90's shaped who I am and for better or for worse that's who I am today. This is an introduction, this is a starting point, this is my beginning. We all have beginnings, sometimes those beginnings lead to something great but most of the time they just lead on and that's not always a bad thing because life needs the people who don't do great things and that may sound odd or even insulting but it's not. Without the people who do not go on to do great things there wouldn't be people who do go on to do great things. Where I fit into that it's unknown.its all up in the air right now at least. Maybe I will go on to do something great more likely I won't and that's okay, I've accepted that most likely I'm just going to be a regular everyday person and to an extent that's all I want. However for that small part of me that burns for something more, that burns to be or do something great, that's the reason I'm writing this today ,that's the reason I'm pushing forward through the fear and the doubt I'm pushing forward for that small (and it's a very small) chance that maybe just maybe I could be or do something great. Now to elaborate, by great I mean any large or small contribution to the overall whole of society in any needed or unneeded way. In my case I'm leaning towards literature. Now it doesn't have to be great literature to be great because some of the stuff that's popular, what gains the largest following isn't always some of the best written literature but it sells and resonates with an audience. I want to carve out my own little space in between all of those stories out there and build my own following. Now there's a big part of me that doubts myself but I've seen all the things that have succeeded in the modern literary world and its clear. Today you don't have to write great to be great all you need is the right story, to get people interested,to keep them reading and to help them escape. If you can do all that, then by today's standards you're great. it sounds easy but in reality it's not, if it was then all the books that have been self published would be selling a lot more. it's still an amazing feat for someone to put a piece of themselves out there like that, so anyone who writes a book and decides to publish it, it takes a lot and they are great in their own way but not in that big way that's noticed. I know how hard it is, I've been trying to write pretty much anything book related for 3 years at least.to sum it up a lot of life happened, a lot of s*** storms that I had to sail through. there were so many times when I wanted to just end it in many ways, to just walk away from everything but I could not just do that after everything I tried to put into this walking away just didn't seem possible. I'm finally trying a different approach and that's what brings us here. This first post will be one in a long line up of  insights that are mostly non essential, random,at times pretty pointless.as the name says though insanity rambles so come along for the ride and enjoy all that I am offering from the mind of RSR.